This article appeared in the November 8, 1994 issue
of the Marin Independent Journal, and is delivered
to me by my co-worker, Mona, who is forever trying
to convince me that I am somehow a peace-sign-waving
baby boomer, when in fact I am a doc marten-wearing
X-guy. She does it just to get my goat. (And if it
isn't obvious, well, she's fairly successful.)
I'm not particularly a fan of generalizations, but
this is funny, no matter how you cut up the dough.
-Sabat
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How You Can Tell Which Generation is Yours
by Richard Polito
It's getting harder to know what generation you are.
You've got your boomers, busters, Generation X, Generation Y, tweeners, cuspers, and the silent generation. And it's not always chronological either. Generational identity is more about attitude than age.
A lot of people are confused.
This quiz might help. Here's how it works:
- If you answer mostly "A" you're a pre-boomer.
- If you answer mostly "B" you're part of the Baby Boom.
- If you answer mostly "C" you belong to Generation X.
- If you answer mostly "D" you are in Generation Y.
1. Who is the ideal figure of motherhood?
A. Eleanor Roosevelt.
B. Donna Reed.
C. Mrs. Brady.
D. Rosanne.
2. What did you want to be when you grew up?
A. Part of a nuclear family.
B. A free-thinking artist.
C. Corporate trader.
D. Living with your parents.
3. Music should be ...
A. Melodic and romantic.
B. Annoying to your parents.
C. Annoying to your parents.
D. Annoying to your parents.
4. Sex is for ...
A. Married couples who want to start a family.
B. Anyone who wants to start a party.
C. Latex-clad partners in a laboratory setting.
D. Watching on TV.
5. The scariest moment in film history was ...
A. When the mummy rose from his tomb.
B. When the blob chased Steve McQueen.
C. When the Alien burst from the man's chest.
D. When that dude's head blew up in "Scanners."
6. The most inspiring American is ...
A. John Wayne.
B. John F. Kennedy.
C. Madonna.
D. Beavis.
7. I expect my retirement to be ...
A. The golden years when I look back on a happy, fulfilling life.
B. An opportunity to finally write my novel.
C. An agonizing slide into abject poverty.
D. A daily struggle to survive in a horribly polluted world.
8. America is becoming ...
A. More impersonal.
B. More frightening.
C. More expensive.
D. More bogus.
9. The American dream is ...
A. A house with a two-car garage.
B. A healthy family.
C. Winning the lottery.
D. Touring with Metallica.
10. My college major was ...
A. Business.
B. Liberal Arts.
C. College is too expensive.
D. What's that?
11. A good meal would be ...
A. Meat and potatoes.
B. Vegetarian macrobiotic.
C. From a drive-up window.
D. Microwaveable.
12. My favorite footwear is ...
A. Sensible shoes.
B. Earth shoes.
C. Converse high-tops.
D. Doc Martens.
13. I learned to drive behind the wheel of a ...
A. '39 Packard.
B. '61 VW.
C. '78 Pinto
D. Sega.
14. "The" woman:
A. Marilyn Monroe.
B. Racquel Welch.
C. Julia Roberts.
D. Shannen Doherty.
15. "The" man:
A. Cary Grant.
B. Paul McCartney.
C. Eddie Vedder.
D. Bart Simpson.
16. Lost idol:
A. James Dean.
B. Jim Morrison.
C. Kurt Cobain.
D. Mario Brothers.
17. My generation's most unhealthy habit is ...
A. Smoking.
B. Dope smoking.
C. Crack smoking.
D. Moshing.
18. Fashion accessory best forgotten:
A. Double knit.
B. Bell bottoms.
C. Skinny ties.
D. Ridiculously baggy pants.
19. The ideal way to spend a weekend is ...
A. Golfing.
B. Consciousness raising.
C. Mountain biking.
D. Internet surfing.
20. I remember where I was when ...
A. The Japanese surrendered.
B. John F. Kennedy was shot.
C. John Lennon was shot.
D. O.J. took a drive.
21. Life-changing movie:
A. "East of Eden."
B. "Easy Rider."
C. "Heathers."
D. "Nightmare on Elm Street 7: The Final Nightmare."
22. Life-changing novel:
A. "Catcher in the Rye," J.D. Salinger.
B. "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas," Hunter S. Thompson.
C. "Bright Lights, Big City," Jay McInerney.
D. "TV Guide."
23. Sports hero:
A. Mickey Mantle.
B. O.J. Simpson.
C. Michael Jordon.
D. O.J. Simpson.
24. Celebrity your generation would rather not claim:
A. Dan Quayle.
B. Barry Manilow.
C. Vanilla Ice.
D. Barney.
25. Computers are:
A. Frightening and disconcerting.
B. Complicated.
C. Making me work harder and harder.
D. My only link to the outside world.
26. The father is the one who ...
A. Wears the pants and brings home the bacon.
B. Is attuned to his sensitive side.
C. Left years ago.
D. Holds the remote control.
27. My after-college plans:
A. Work hard to help build a strong America.
B. Take my pick of the many job opportunities.
C. Take my pick of the many lower-paying temp services.
D. Would you like some fries with that?
28. My generation's most annoying fad is ...
A. Atomic testing.
B. Hula hoops.
C. Body piercing.
D. Unemployment.
29. The voice of my generation is ...
A. Walter Cronkite.
B. Bob Dylan.
C. Brett Easton Ellis.
D. MTV VJ "Kennedy."
30. My generation's biggest fear is ...
A. Heart disease.
B. Getting older.
C. Collection agencies.
D. Things that suck.
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